Menstrual Poetry, but for Men.

More specifically for hetero, manly men.

A husband must tip toe around certain subjects with his wives, oops was that a Freudian Slip. Each man should be married to only one chick. So for those guys I wrote a series of poems, they are meant as comedy and satire. So don’t get your lacy little panties in a bunch Nancy.

A Hallmark Menstrual Card From Your Husband.

The Tampons are Red,

While My Balls are Blue,

I Do Hate Your Period,

But a Blowjob Will Do.

Dear Jane.

Jane you were truly once my one and only,

then you moved in and I felt so lonely.

Your Facebook friends were your one true love,

and You tuned Me out when push came to shove.

My list of priorities always had you on the top,

but you just wanted me for a man shaped prop.

While I was working you fucked my neighbor Tom,

so when I found out I fucked your 4 sisters and Mom.

I’m sorry that this is what It’s come down to today,

but your new Nephew is mine so with your sister I’ll stay.

Have a nice Life I know you will clear this hurtle,

but in the end you were about as useful as tits on a turtle.

Good Bye Jane, I’ll be at Janet’s.

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The Moral of the Poem:

Jane fucked up, John was a nice dude and would have given her the world but she couldn’t give him the time to talk about his feelings. Now Jane needs to talk about her feelings, but nobody will listen.

The Moral in poetic form:

Don’t be like Jane. Be a Janet instead.

Hold onto John’s Balls while you give him head.

In reading these poems you’ll learn a thing or two

and one of them, is that balls are people too.

Thank you for reading, and please understand that this is purely comedy and should only be taken as such. Misogyny is wrong, and so is taking satire or comedy seriously.

The best support you can offer is free, and by simply sharing this post you help to spread the word. Bring the funny edge back to comedy.