My Wife Is Crazy !

Life with her is never dull.

How could she not be crazy ?

She is my other half and lets be honest, I'm wrapped about as tight as a tumbleweed. How could this beautiful, driven, and loyal woman stand at my side, and not be a little crazy. Now, before I go to far let me explain the kind of “Crazy” we speak of here. One night out, while perfectly sober, she witnesses a group of drunken frat boys hassling a hostess, and waitress. One of the drunken idiots said something along the lines of “Your stupid, and those drinks sucked, I'm only paying for two of them.” To which the poor hostess replied. “Sir, you drank $250 worth of alcohol, you can't complain afterwards.” This was the only trigger she needed. My awesome little 5’3” wife goes into instant combat mode. Her feelings about their drunken antics became instantly obvious “Pay the lady, and shut the fuck up.” she yells. Let's just say I wound up carrying her off still kicking and screaming, and the waitress she defended survived. I never even get a chance to react in these situations, she beats me to it every time. She is utterly fearless.

More drive than a freight train.

She is one of those people that gives all of her attention to her current goals. She works full time, and is doing full time Nursing School at the same time. I have never met a person with the same dedication to building her families future. I do anything that I can to support her while she finishes, but honestly she could do this on her own, with a blindfold on. There is no doubt in my mind that we were both designed specifically to balance each other.

Balance.

The key to any dance, is balance. Keeping each other in check when needed. Knowing when to lead, and when to take the lead. Any serious relationship is one long dance. One where the main goal is to prevent it from becoming a mosh pit. This may be the axis that life itself spins around. At least it seems that way, because when the balance of the relationship goes just a bit wonky, everything else goes with it. Now, don't get me wrong it's not always just me trying to balance out her violent outbursts. She is usually the most calm, and collected woman I know. When I have a moment of anxiety, or anger, she grabs the wheel and rights the path. Let's be honest, as a Germanic Pagan I was born to be stubborn and at least somewhat confrontational. Since her and I became a couple about 7 years ago, I have only been stabbed once, and been in 2 other physical confrontations. Considering the events that unfolded in the 35 years prior, that's me doing fairly damned well. I know that she has calmed me down quite a bit. What I can't figure out though, is how the hell she did it.

There is so much more going on, than just balancing each other out though. We have the same ideas about what life should actually look like. The idea that people should be far more self sufficient, at least as far as them depending far less on grocery stores, and being tied to utility companies. We both understand that owning our own land, and providing ourselves with a large portion of our food from it is the best way to live. After watching what the government did to people during Covid, we also understand that community is crucial. She knows that homesteading, and being self sufficient is only the first step. That a large homestead, with an extended family, is the most efficient, and secure way to live. A system where everyone has their own home, and land, but trade with, and help each other. Oh, and if I forgot to mention earlier, we have 6 kids. Well, most of them are actually adults now. Needless to say, we have the hands to pull off building a working homestead.

She is by far, the greatest ally anyone could ever hope for. Fiercely loyal, beautiful, and an amazing mother. A more perfect partner for me could never be built. My heart still stutters when she enters a room, how can I possibly deny that natural reaction.

The Nornes had it all planned.

We both grew up in the same neighborhood. Hanging out with many of the same people, yet somehow we only met briefly as teenagers. As a matter of fact, that very meeting was an introduction to her, by a good mutual friend of ours. He was going to “try” to introduce us anyways. Somehow, a cheerleader standing under the wrong tree during lunch, caused my current wife to be escorted away that day in handcuffs, and even expelled from that highschool. We never even got past the initial, “Hi my name is” portion of the conversation. Long story short, a cheerleader should never say the words “Shut up bitch” to a rocker chick wearing combat boots. She will use them to stomp a mud hole in your forehead. Which by the way, she thoroughly did try to do to her that day… Twice.

As it turned out, we would actually meet twice in the same day, and both times she was kicking the shit out of the same cheerleader. You see, after the first altercation they were both brought to the deans office. My friend and I went on about our lunch, then afterwards went to the bathroom in the gym to smoke a cigarette. Just like we had, after a hundred other lunches. What we didn't know, is that the coach was going to have the shits that day. Anyways, he comes running into the bathroom at full speed and needs a stall. The unfortunate thing for us, is that we were standing in the doorway of it smoking. Well, I was anyways, he was just walking out, as the coach was running in. By the time he saw me standing there with the Camel Wide perched in my lip, my friend had already made it out the door. My dumb ass, gets hauled to the deans office. Give you one guess who was there already. The funniest thing happened as soon as I walked in. They sat me down right outside of a holding room that my wife was in. There was a window into it, and there at the table, I see that my future wife is sitting in there. All by herself for all of about 1 minute. Right after they say me down, in an ultimate act of hubris the deans walked thc cheerleader past me, open the door and sit her right across the table from the girl that just whipped her ass. Then the dean just closes the door and walks away.

I'm watching in amazement as this is being done. Even my 16 year old mind knew exactly what was about to unfold. Honestly, I think unfold was underrating the hell out of it. The situation was more like a tightly coiled pull starter spring, that was about to break free of its constraints. The cheerleader was either very proud, or dumb as a brick. Perhaps even an unhealthy combination of the two, who really knows. What I do know, is that I saw her say something else to my wife, then like a tasmanian devil had appeared, a whirlwind flew over the table and hit the girl so hard, that it knocked her out of her chair, and through the door. The cheerleader hit the ground on her back, with the rocker girls combat boots in her armpits and her knees on the ground, right next to the cheerleaders head. What came next was to be described as a face pounding. In a desperate move of self defense, the cheerleader wiggles her arm free and does the only thing she can. Reaches up and grabs the rocker chicks tank top, and yanks it. So as I said earlier, I did go on to eventually marry this badass Celtic warrior girl, just over 20 years later. But that day, in highschool I watched her beat some girls ass, twice. The second time with one of her glorious boobs hanging out.

I was in love. I just didn't know it yet.

20 years, and a lot of life experience later, we met again. Since then, we have become the best friends, and so much more.

The moral of the story, you may have already met your soulmate. The nornes have a very detailed tapestry, two strings can run parallel to each other for quite a distance and never cross. But once they do, those strings are forever connected, crisscrossing, and creating the Nornes picture.

Thank you all for reading. Just remember, the first step to fixing the world starts right next door. How can we have communities, if we do not even know our neighbors?

#LoveYourNeighbor to #SaveTheWorld